Ever since I was a little girl I remember celebrating the New Years with my family. The biggest holiday of all in Russia, New Years was the night when most families gathered together around an elaborately planned meal that would last for hours. We would eat, drink, talk and just before midnight we would bid farewell to the Old year. Then, as the clocks strike midnight, we would open the door and welcome the New Year with champagne and wishes. What did we wish for? We wished for good health, prosperity, peace … and, most importantly, we wished for the New Year to be better than the old.

I find that “wishing” is different from making the infamous New Years resolutions. To me these resolutions are often a reflection of our “shoulds” rather than our “wants”. How many times have we made a resolution to go to the gym three times a week because we thought we ought to? And how many of us continued to go three times a week throughout the year? You get the point.

Wishing, on the other hand, is different. Wishing lets the Universe know about what you really want and through that it opens you up to those possibilities. For instance, my wish for the upcoming 2006 is to publish the novel I’ve written. I have really no control over the publishing industry and so it’s the job of the Universe to grant me that publishing contract. My job is to take actions to get that contract (polish my manuscript, write query letters to agents, negotiate, etc). As soon as you divide the spheres of influence – Universe’s job is everything outside your control and your job is taking actions – you feel lighter. You stop beating yourself up for not selling that novel or getting that promotion, all the while you are still going for it -- without all the negative implications of complaining and feeling bad.

A word about complaining. It’s a known principle that what I focus on, expands. So if you focus on what’s lacking in your life, more of the same will come again and again. And it’ll drag you down to the place of stress, worry, anxiety, taking all the energy you need to be creative and seize the opportunities. But, if you focus on what you want, you’ll have a feeling of peace, positive thoughts, and unlimited possibilities. You’ll open yourself up and since the Universe doesn’t tolerate vacuum it’ll rush to fill it in and it’ll deliver. That’s what making a New Years wish and choosing a New Years theme is all about.

I’ve chosen my theme for 2006 to be Success. How about yours? Here is a tip to help you choose – try filling out this free Goal Report and see where it takes you:

http://www.FreeGoalsReport.com/quiz.asp?id=784

Happy Holidays!
Margarita

Have you ever noticed that when you move or travel somewhere where the currency is different from what you are used to it suddenly becomes a lot easier to spend money? Some even joke that it’s like dealing with “paper money”, the kind of money that’s not worth much. But if you stop and think about it, money is “paper” (or “metal”) wherever you go, even in your own country. In other words, it’s a tool made out of paper or metal. A tool to help us enjoy life.

Yet that’s not what we think of money most of the time. More often than not – and particularly if we operate in our own currency -- we feel guilty about spending, anxious about having or not having money; and intimidated by talking about it. We give money a lot of power over us and our emotions. Did you know that in the Victorian era people spoke freely about money while they could not talk openly about sex? Yet in this day and age – the time when the society is more open-minded -- we avoid talking about money. Talking about it makes us uncomfortable. Why?

The answer to that question is very individual and it’ll depend on where and how you grew up. But, in general, most of us have surrounded money with a lot of emotional baggage. Instead of making money a tool that it’s meant to be, we’ve given it powers of intimidation over us. So much of it, in fact, that we are afraid to talk about money and afraid to explore our relationship with it. Yet until we explore -- until we know the context that we ourselves have created around money -- we’ll continue to be powerless and intimidated when it comes to money.

The context we create around money changes from culture to culture. That’s why we find our relationship with money ease when we travel, when we leave the realm where that context was created. Yet the tension about money comes back when we return and this tension often becomes the source of misunderstandings and fights.

How can you ease the tension? Look beyond the money. How? Ask yourself and those important in your life the following questions:

What does money give you?
What are you missing because of lack of money (or abundance of money)?
What’s important about money to you?

Look at the dreams behind the money. Look at values that are not being honored because of money. Arguments often go away when people share their dreams and values.

In order to bring back the true essence of money – a tool to settle transactions – you have to think of it in a positive light. For instance, instead of being bitter about how much your heating bill is, consider what it’s giving you. A warm house -- a home to enjoy for you and your family. What value are you supporting by paying this bill, by having heat? Make the money part of your team, not your foe. And then -- enjoy the friendship!

Some additional questions that can help clarify things:

What are you honoring in your attitudes towards money?
What are you rebelling against in your attitudes towards money?
Where do you cave in or override your values for the sake of money?
What emotions does money bring up in you?

Good luck!
Margarita

“It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has accumulated during the first half”
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky

A while ago I heard a report that the Personal Storage industry was among the fastest growing industries in the United States. Personal storage warehouses are popping up everywhere, spoiling the natural beauty of their surroundings and feeding into the rising trend of saving everything. Americans, it seems, have grown out of their attics, their basements, and their garages. Junk of past years now occupies these orange/white depots and, according to some people interviewed in the report, sits there for years and years without ever being visited.

I remember commenting to someone then about how lucky we were to be moving every few years. Although not pleasant, the move at least gives us a chance to dispose of things we no longer need or want. Every three years -- as we pack – we look through everything we own and decide what goes with us and what does not. But, until last year, we still always ended up with more things than we really cared for. So what happened last year?

I decided to look at this “weeding” process in a different light. If before I simply disposed of what looked old or was not needed, now I look at the energy behind my things and I look at whether they still represent what I believe in today. Because, let’s face it, many objects that we hold on to may represent who we were long ago and not who we are now. Some may come from times that have been difficult and resonate with memories of sadness; others may have been symbolic to us in the past but no longer carry the same meaning. Why hold on to them then? Why drain yourself and your house of energy with clutter that is not useful for who you are becoming?

The thing is that external clutter can very often be a manifestation of the internal clutter. We hide behind the clutter – we hide the “real us” – and, as we do that, we decrease the space available for the new and exciting things to come into our life. By letting the things we no longer care about occupy the space, we reject the new things that can bring fresh energy. Look carefully around you and, as you pack each object, ask yourself: what does it represent to me? What feeling do I get from it? How important is it to me now and how valid is it to my future path? If it is valid, go ahead and keep it. If not, get rid of it.

The same goes for old habits. We are creatures of many, many habits -- most of which come from our past. So how valid are they in our lives now? Do we want to keep them?

It’s truly amazing what happens once you decrease the clutter. Yes, it’s scary and it makes us feel vulnerable at times, but the result is well worth it. The universe does not tolerate vacuum and, once you free the space, it will respond by filling it up with energy and excitement to support who you are now and who you want to become.

Happy moving!
Margarita

“The things we know best are the things we haven’t been taught.”
-- Vauvenargues

One of the biggest characteristics of the expatriate experience, and particularly of the repeat expatriate experience, is the necessity of making friends over and over again. You move, you get used to where you are, you meet people you like, develop friendships, and get settled. Before you know it, however, it may be time to move again and you start the entire cycle all over. The first days, weeks, or even months in the new place often feel lonely and frustrating as you try to not only figure out life but also struggle with small or non-existent support network. What are some ways you can help yourself create that network and keep creating it as you go from country to country (or even if you stay where you are)?

First, look at the whole experience of having to make friends as an opportunity rather than a hurdle. You get to explore what’s out there. Your old friends are wonderful, of course, but if you have not moved you would have missed the ones you are going to meet. And you never know what awaits you in the future. You may meet someone who will inspire you to write a book, someone who you may partner with to develop a successful business, someone who is a great coffee companion, or … the list can go on and on. When you look at this experience as a possibility rather than a difficulty you have to overcome, it becomes a much easier process to start.

Second, manifest. We all manifest what we want although we sometimes don’t realize it. Start by writing down your concerns and fears about finding the support you need. That will help empty your mind of the limiting thoughts that may be blocking you moving forward. Then manifest who you want to meet by writing down what kind of friend(s) you are looking for. What do you want your new friend(s) to have? How do you want them to be? Let the universe know what you are looking for.

Third, spring into action. Now that the universe knows what you want, it’s time for you to do your part. And your part is what dependent on you – the actions you can take to get what you want. Go to every meeting, every get together, and every gathering you can. After all, you never know who you are going to meet there. Yes, it could turn out to be a complete waste of time but you would not know that if you didn’t go. Every meeting out there carries with it a new possibility.

Life is always offering us new beginnings, it’s up to us if we want to act on them or not. We can choose to stay by sidelines waiting for things to happen to us or we may choose to be active and seek out every opportunity. Only by experiencing new things you will know what resonates and what’s in harmony with who you are.

Good luck!

Margarita

“Experience is not what happens to you. It’s what you do with what happens to you.”
-- Aldous Huxley

The expatriate world is made of those who work and those who accompany them to their assignments. More often than not the expatriate partners cannot find the same or similar terms of employment they had in their home countries or even in a country where they were previously assigned. The dilemma re-surfaces with pretty much every move – what am I to do now? Museum trips and local culture exploration behind me, how can I satisfy my professional and career cravings?

Considering that we are almost always insanely busy, this time away from work and professional engagements may be your chance to figure out what you are here for. What is your reason for being on this planet? They say that we are born with a life purpose – our gift to this world. Far from being about a job, a career, or a profession, life purpose is about things we are meant to accomplish. Many people die with their music still in them – would not it be nice to discover yours before it’s too late?

Mortality will eventually claim all of us, so when you think of that what really matters? What will you regret doing or not doing? What experience must you have to feel you’ve lived a completely satisfying life?

Some people never look for their life purpose, others never find it. To try to find yours see if you can answer the following questions. Take a large piece of paper, jot down the answers as they come to you – using mind mapping perhaps – and then see what common concepts thread through your answers.

(1) Think back to a time of crisis in your life or the life of others close to you, the kind that divides your life into “before” and “after”. What did you do during it or immediately after? Most likely you did what seemed most vital and real to you and your actions would be a strong indicator of your life purpose.

(2) Think of yourself in the old ripe age with friends around you. What are they saying about the impact you’ve had on their lives?

(3) Imagine that someone gave you a large billboard to use as you wish. Thousands of drivers pass by that billboard every day. What would you put on that billboard to influence them? What would you say? Draw?

Having worked through the answers to these questions you’ll see a common theme emerging, the theme of the impact you want to create. Whether it’s helping people in need, creating something big, learning everything there is to know, or something entirely different, the words should point you in the right direction. Now what do you do to get there?

Everything we do in this life can be qualified as a game. What is the game you are playing at the moment? Is it taking you any closer to your life purpose, to the impact you want to create, to the legacy you want to leave? Are you good at the game? Do you like the other players? If the game you are playing does not in any way reflect your life purpose, what would be the game that will?

Wherever you are on your journey towards your life purpose, use small actions to get there. What can you do every day, every week, once a month to get closer to what you want? Make sure those small steps add up to your big goal. Our everyday actions, however mundane they may seem (like cleaning the house or doing taxes) are part of the structure to support us on our way – as long as we don’t use them as an excuse to postpone the actions that really matter. If you really want to travel and have not done so in years because your family relies on you to make dinner every night, that would be an example of your everyday routine diverting you from your life purpose.

And most importantly – have fun along the way! If you are moving towards something that will make your whole life matter, that’s the only way to do it!

Margarita